My Manhood Plan
John S. Oliver
begun March 28, 2006 and last revised April 1, 2006
INTRODUCTION
These materials are answers to the questions presented on pages 92 to 95 of The Quest for Authentic Manhood by Robert Lewis http://www.mensfraternity.com/html/Product-Quest.asp
Writing this manhood plan is the final step in Men’s Fraternity that met at my home church this fall and spring http://www.pcpcmensfraternity.com/
I would highly recommend Men’s Fraternity to any man http://www.mensfraternity.com/html/HowBegin.asp
Adaptability
Application orientation
Creativity
Curiosity
Determination
Expressive
Faith
Flexibility
Generosity
Giving
Honesty
Interviewing
Investigation
Networking
Openness
Patience
Perseverance
Problem Solving
Research
Resilience
Risk taking
Systems Design
Teachability
Tenacity
Trusting
Willingness
How can these strengths and assets aid me in my journey to authentic manhood?
Teachability and Application Orientation - As I continue on my Christian pilgrimage I learn and apply the lessons that God teaches me along the way. I have learned the hard way that gaining knowledge about a theory about Christianity without practical application is less than half of what God wants. Being a doer of the Word and not just a hearer lead to understanding that a book can never provide.
Faith - Jesus Christ as the author and finisher of my faith. He does His work in my soul of improving and refining my faith.
Flexibility - I must remain flexible to adapt to the many changes needed along this winding path of following Jesus Christ daily.
Openness and Honesty – I have found that it is useful to be open and honest with God as well as people. This allows the light of Christ to continue to dispel the spiritual darkness in the unregenerate corners of my soul.
Willingness, Trusting and Risk Taking - Sooner than later following Jesus Christ leads to challenging steps that require willingness to trust God and take risks.
Adaptability and Resilience - Often things do not turn out as expected so that leads to the necessity of adapting and be resilient.
Curiosity, Research and Investigation - There are many mysteries about God, life, women, human nature and spirituality that are best explored by following the instinct of curiosity as well as research and investigation.
Giving and Generosity - The Bible says that if I sow bountifully then I will reap bountifully. It says that I am to give according to the measure I choose. And I have chosen repeatedly and at depth to give generously when God opens the door. (2Cor 9:6,7)
Patience and Perseverance - Repeatedly I have discovered that God is never in a hurry. My flesh and the devil often want me to rush. But this can lead to less than desirable outcomes. Thus after three decades of following Jesus Christ I sometimes hear others thanking me for being so patient. That just comes naturally these days. And when patience is stacked on top of more patience the results are perseverance. Nearly every important improvement in my life involved much perseverance.
Determination and Tenacity – Beyond patience and perseverance there are some challenges that require determination and tenacity. During these times it is essential to be certain that what is being done is fully in the will of God according to the Word of God, Holy Spirit and inner witness.
Creativity and Expressiveness – I recall that during the late 1970s and early 1980s there was a continual longing in my soul to write but it rarely happened. These days I would guess that I write about 20 hours a week. I have dozens of projects that are calling to me to write more.
Problem Solving and Systems Design – I embrace what the Bible says and believe it is the responsibility of believers to trust God while obeying the Word as prompted by the Holy Spirit. The more I examine realistically the human condition inside and outside of the local church the more I recognize the gap between what the Bible sets as a standard for faith and practice and what is happening among most of the church members most of the time. The great need is to develop practical bridges between the ideal of scripture and the reality of those in the pews. From this desire to solve this complex collection of interrelated problems in systematic ways came Four Bridges and the other systems before it.
Interviewing – I am fascinated by people in general and especially to learn what God has been doing in their life. I enjoy asking all kinds of open ended questions and listening attentively to the replies. God has used this earnest interviewing skill to learn much about people and Himself. Often people tell me that thank you for asking. Many have said they told me more of their story than they have told anyone.
Networking – It is very easy and natural for me to network with people of various backgrounds and interests. Yet I know a few people that do this much better than me. Mostly my new networking is as part of a quest to answer a question or solve a problem. This could be for myself or someone else. Then months or years later God reminds me of previous contacts to meet current challenges. The result is that I have a very diverse collection of people in my contact database.
1. Which of the manhood wounds presented in these sessions have I not adequately addressed?
Father wound
Overly-bonded with mother wound
Heart (depravity) wound
2. Have I made a decision to move through the pain rather than be crippled by it?
YES
3. What keeps me from addressing these wounds?
Fear
Doubt
Unbelief
Perfectionism
Procrastination
Lack of
Vision
Game plan
Guidance
Encouragement
Support
Courage
4. Whose help do I need?
Pastors
Teachers
Intercessors
Accountability partners
Friends
Coaches
Therapists
Consultants
Mentors
5. How will I practically address the wounds affecting me from my past? Be specific.
§ Continue to follow the Lord Jesus Christ daily by faith
§ Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness
§ Trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not to my own understanding
§ Pray often and ask for prayers
§ Continue to study and apply lessons related to authentic manhood
§ Share with boys and men what God has taught me about authentic manhood
6. How will I know when I am finished with this unfinished business? Can I describe “finishing”?
The work of progressive sanctification will be finished when I receive my resurrection body in heaven.
C. What past mistakes do I still need to deal with fully?
1. How am I going to deal with these mistakes?
confess my sins
forgive others from my heart
ask for forgiveness
make restitution
accept responsibility for my
thoughts
words
deeds
2. What steps do I need to take?
Being led by the Holy Spirit weave into my goals, projects and tasks the sanctification and redemptive steps as God guides.
3. Whose help do I need?
Pastors
Teachers
Intercessors
Accountability partners
Friends
Coaches
Therapists
Consultants
Mentors
A. How do I evaluate myself in the light of the biblical definition of real manhood?
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being maximum
Reject passivity - 7
Accept responsibility - 8
Lead courageously - 5
Expect rewards, God’s rewards - 6
B. According to the Scripture, what manhood responsibilities do I have at this stage of my life? Make a list.
Do what it takes to fulfill the call of God on my life.
Jesus said to God I have finished the work you have given me to do. (John 17:4)
Paul said he was faithful to the heavenly vision. (Acts 26:19)
Paul said he had finished his course. (2 Tim 4:7)
I believe that there are good works I am destined to walk in by the grace of God. (Eph 2:10)
I have completely embraced my calling and I am willing to pay the price to fulfill it.
I have done all that I could to discover and develop my God given talents.
I am single and never married.
I have been seeking the will of God for my life diligently since I was born again in 1977.
I am at the brink of launching a ministry named Four Bridges www.FourBridges.org .
This will harness the Internet and CDs to connect the body of Christ.
Together we will serve those impacted by future hurricanes.
This includes the evacuees, rebuilders plus families and friends of both.
Hurricane season officially starts June 1, 2006.
That is when the Gulf of Mexico is warm enough to produce a hurricane.
I am investing all my waking hours, when not at my job, to get ready.
After I have served in the wake of a few hurricanes there will be a shift.
I will have a track record, a growing support base, testimonies and endorsements.
People will know that besides being a visionary and planner I get the job done.
Then it will be easier to enroll major donors and corporate advertisers.
Those funds will allow me to increase the paid staff.
This paid staff and I will oversee a growing base of volunteers.
Together we will generate many valuable products and services.
The hurricane season lasts 6 months until November 30.
During the off-season we will serve the thousands we met and get ready for next season.
I have hundreds of pages of plans and flow charts.
i. Do I accept these responsibilities with conviction?
YES
ii. Do I have a specific plan for assuming these responsibilities?
I am in the process of developing a specific plan.
Also I am in the process of raising funds to hire consultants.
From there I seek a strategic plan, flow chart of projects and checklists.
My main concern is the long-term aid lasting many months.
However short term is also important.
When the hurricane makes landfall I will go with the Red Cross.
I am getting training to be part of the Strike Team.
We will set up the temporary shelters for the first ten days.
Other volunteers may be activated to relieve us.
If it is a major hurricane then I will remain in the region.
I will make contacts with the radio and TV stations in the area.
I will set up alliances with Christian and secular stations.
I will link from my central web site to news all over the region.
The updates will motivate on-going prayer, donations and volunteers.
Besides news there will also be information, education and inspiration.
Networking contacts will connect people all over cyberspace.
Christian benevolence opens doors for evangelism and discipleship.
We aim to meet the physical needs of things and emotional counseling.
This earns the right to be heard so that the gospel shall be shared.
Assisting those impacted to pray better and trust Jesus is essential.
The only reliable Rock after a disaster is Jesus Christ.
We will provide Bible based educational modules for free.
iii. What obstacles are holding me back?
Enroll a Launch Team of
intercessors
advisors
donors
Need initial funds to get ready
8 thousand dollars Seed Capital
prototype of CD
initial business plan
40 thousand dollars for Strong Start
10K consultants
10K softwares and hardware
10K web development
10K initial payroll
C. Where am I succeeding as a man right now, in regards to my biblical calling as a man?
i. Would others agree with me?
Many would
Some would want to see visible successes and not just plans
ii. How can I see God rewarding me for these successes
Encouraging my heart
Expanding my vision
D. Where am I struggling or failing as a man right now?
I need to improve my habits of financial record keeping.
The ministry is coming off the drawing table and into action.
It needs to become second nature to keep accurate records continually.
i. How practically can I reverse this?
Working with suitable software and personnel.
The personnel include bookkeeper, CPA and me.
I have begun to record daily how I spend every penny every day.
I have begun to keep every receipt so there is a paper trail.
ii. What key steps can I take within the next 30 days to actually start a reversal process?
I have begun the habit of recording how I spend every penny daily.
I have begun to keep receipts for every purchase.
I have begun to enter these into a software program daily.
God has brought a godly bookkeeper into my life that was a missionary.
I will meet with a C.P.A. contact that has served other ministries soon.
A. What goals must I accomplish to say I have achieved true manhood by the end of my life? Make a list.
At the end of my life I wish to leave a legacy of
Leaders
Lessons
Libraries
Leaders
In my opinion the greatest need in the body of Christ is for more and better lay leaders.
This includes youth, men and women.
There needs to be many affordable and accessible ways for those in the pews to lead.
The Great Commission is a massive and on-going challenge.
The Lord Jesus Christ has commissioned every believer to share in this divine assignment.
There will never be enough seminary-trained pastors to do all the work needed.
Previously lay people that were motivated to gain more knowledge and skills had to pay.
There have been books, workbooks and seminars that had a price tag.
The Internet has forever changed the communication landscape.
It is easy and cheap to download PDF text files, MP3 audio and PowerPoint slide shows.
Paul exhorted Timothy to teach teachers who will teach. (2Tim 2:2)
I exhort pastors, elders and seminarians to lead leaders who will lead.
My opened-ended challenge is to provide ways to equip the saints.
Not every person will become a leader but there needs to be easy ways to become one.
God has given me contact and favor with dozens of seminary students and graduates.
These people often desire to minister more than the local church gives opportunity.
They will be my adjunct faculty in exchange for a feedback from others.
Those who encounter the free teachings will be invited to send constructive comments.
They will be invited to pray for them and send donations.
God can use this to connect them with those who will invite them to be guest speakers.
Lessons
God had granted to me dozens of lessons that I feel compelled to offer the body of Christ.
I have developed some in to essays that I have given to friends and posted on the web.
I have outlines and rough drafts for many dozen more.
These lessons will be shared over the web platform that is part of Four Bridges.
I will give an account to the Lord Jesus Christ to have faithfully taught what He taught me.
This will also set a precedent and serve as a model for other teachers on Four Bridges.
Libraries
I have lived a difficult and complicated life.
Along the way I have experienced major disappointments with nearly every institution.
These include public schools, colleges and corporate employers.
I have felt deeply disappointed in how they took my time and energy but gave little back.
They had agendas, traditions and policies that did not serve their clients or purposes well.
Lots of studies from many sources have documented the kinds of problems they had.
They talked about reforms but very little improvement ever happened.
By contrast I have been repeatedly delighted about my experiences with libraries.
As a child my mother took my brother and me to the public library often.
We enjoyed our times there and borrowed many materials.
During my teen years I rarely went to a library.
But from my mid twenties until now in my early 50s I go to libraries frequently.
Currently I work in the library of a seminary and often go the library of my home church.
There have been many years when most of my waking hours was in a public library.
There are many things that are appealing about a library.
The price to access the resources is free contrasted to a bookstore.
There are quiet and private places to read, study, think, reflect and pray.
There are no unrealistic deadlines to have read a book and written a report like in school.
A person can go at their own pace and explore any subject instead of following a syllabus.
From doing this over the decades I have learned to think in interdisciplinary ways.
Our society is changing rapidly in many ways all at the same time.
A person cannot afford the money to buy all the books and courses to keep up.
There are lots of videos that effectively present the educational materials well.
People spend a large percent of their income on entertainment.
Entertainment dollars that have been spent cannot go into the Kingdom of God or other needs.
However videos and other materials can be borrowed from a library for free.
Parents have a monstrous challenge to serve each child as they grow up.
A library can be a wonderful way to meet their education and entertainment needs for free.
My main focus for the short term is on leaders and lessons.
Later I will develop the passion I have to leave libraries.
I am not sure what that will look like.
I will be harnessing the best technologies and methods that will be available then.
I anticipate this will dominate my sunset years.
Like a church planter I will become a library planter.
I will develop systems and guidelines for libraries in churches, small groups and families.
B. What adjectives would I want my wife to use to describe me over the years of our marriage?
I have never been married
I am celibate and content.
I do not burn with lust.
If I never marry that is okay with me.
It is possible that I might become married after the ministry has stabilized.
C. What sort of “old man” do I want to be? Describe in detail. How can I avoid Ecclesiastes 2:11?
Approachable
Hospitable
Insightful
Jovial
Optimistic
Understanding
Wise
D. How do I want to be remembered by those who knew me?
Appreciative
Articulate
Bold
Caring
Courageous
Friendly
Generous
Gentle
Gracious
Humble
Insightful
Inspirational
Intelligent
Kind
Loving
Patient
Sensitive
Supportive
Thoughtful
Understanding
Wise
Zealous
E. What specific experiences and memories do I want my children to have with me before they leave home?
I have never been married.
If I marry at more than 52 years old (now), then it is unlikely I will have children.
I have never wanted to be a father.